Phones, Screens & Sleepovers: Finding the Right Balance for Kids and Tweens
Updated September 2026
Picture this.
Six friends are together for a sleepover.
The teepees look amazing.
The pizza has arrived.
The music is playing.
And every child is sitting silently…
looking at their own phone.
Probably not quite the sleepover you imagined. ๐
Technology is part of our children’s lives, and it isn’t necessarily the enemy of a great sleepover.
Phones can take hilarious photos.
Music creates the party atmosphere.
Gaming can be something friends genuinely enjoy doing together.
Karaoke can have everyone laughing.
And choosing a movie together is practically a sleepover tradition.
So the goal doesn’t have to be:
NO SCREENS ALLOWED!
Instead, it can simply be:
How do we use technology without letting it take over the night?
Here are some things worth thinking about before your child’s next sleepover.
๐ฑ 1. Decide Your Phone Rules Before Everyone Arrives
There’s no single phone rule that’s right for every sleepover.
It will depend on:
โข The children’s ages
โข Whether they have their own phones
โข Your family’s normal rules
โข What the other parents expect
โข What activities you’ve planned
โข Whether the children need their phones to contact home
But it’s much easier to decide your expectations before the party than halfway through it.
You might decide:
๐ฑ Phones are fine throughout the evening
or
๐ต Phones go away during dinner and activities
or
๐ Everyone puts devices aside at a particular time
or
๐ Phones can be kept nearby for contacting parents but aren’t used for scrolling all night
The exact rule matters less than everyone understanding it.
๐จโ๐ฉโ๐ง 2. Remember: Other Families May Have Different Rules
This is particularly important with older kids and tweens.
One family might allow their child unrestricted phone access.
Another might have strict limits.
Some children may not have a phone at all.
There can also be differences around:
๐ฎ Gaming
๐ฑ Apps
๐ฌ YouTube
๐ฌ Messaging
๐ธ Social media
๐ Overnight phone use
If technology is likely to be a big part of the party, it’s worth communicating with parents beforehand.
You don’t need a six-page technology agreement.
Just make sure everyone knows roughly what to expect.
โ๏ธ 3. Don’t Remove a Child’s Way of Contacting Home Without a Plan
This one is important.
For some children โ particularly those attending their first sleepover โ knowing they can contact Mum, Dad or their caregiver can be reassuring.
So if you’re planning a โphones awayโ rule, make sure children still know how they can contact home if they need to.
They should also know they can come to the supervising adult if they’re uncomfortable, worried or simply want to go home.
A digital curfew shouldn’t mean a child feels cut off from their parent.
๐ 4. Create Natural Phone-Free Moments
Instead of constantly saying:
โPut your phone away!โ
Create parts of the evening where phones simply aren’t needed.
For example:
๐ Dinner together
๐จ A craft activity
๐ฒ Party games
๐ง Cupcake decorating
๐ A scavenger hunt
๐ฌ Time sitting together
๐ Presents
You don’t necessarily need to announce a dramatic โdigital detoxโ.
Just give them something enjoyable to do together.
๐ฌ 5. Not All Screen Time Is the Same
There’s a big difference between:
Six children sitting beside one another separately scrolling
and
Six children watching the same movie, singing karaoke or playing a game together.
Both involve screens.
But one is individual.
The other is social.
That’s why I wouldn’t focus too heavily on counting every minute of screen time at a sleepover.
Instead, ask:
Is the technology bringing them together or pulling them apart?
That’s a much more useful question.
๐ฎ 6. Gaming Can Absolutely Be Part of the Party
If your child and their friends love gaming, there’s no reason to pretend they don’t simply because it’s a birthday.
Gaming can be the activity.
Set up games they can enjoy together.
Create mini challenges.
Have a tournament.
Let everyone take turns.
Combine gaming with pizza, snacks and other activities.
A child who genuinely loves gaming may enjoy this far more than being forced to make a craft because someone decided that’s what a sleepover is supposed to look like.
The party should reflect your child.
๐ค 7. Use Technology to Get Them Doing Something
Some of the best uses of technology at a sleepover don’t involve sitting still at all.
Try:
๐ค Karaoke
๐ Dance challenges
๐ถ Creating a shared playlist
๐ธ A photo challenge
๐ฌ Making a silly mini movie
โ Digital trivia
๐ฎ Group games
Technology becomes a tool for fun rather than the main focus of the night.
๐ธ 8. Talk About Photos BEFORE There’s a Problem
Phones at sleepovers mean cameras at sleepovers.
And that deserves its own conversation.
Sleepovers involve children in pyjamas, getting ready for bed, being silly, falling asleep and generally being in a more private environment than they would be at school or a daytime party.
Set some basic expectations.
Ask before taking photos.
Don’t photograph someone getting changed.
Don’t take embarrassing photos of someone sleeping.
Don’t post photos or videos of friends without permission.
If someone says they don’t want to be photographed, respect it.
And as the hosting parent, make sure you know whether other parents are comfortable with photos of their child being shared publicly.
๐ฌ 9. Think About Group Chats & Social Media Too
Sometimes the bigger issue isn’t actually the phone.
It’s what happens on the phone.
Group chats and social media can introduce a completely different dynamic to a sleepover.
For example, kids at the party may start messaging children who weren’t invited.
Someone might send party photos into a larger group chat.
Private conversations can be screenshotted.
Videos can be uploaded before everyone in them even knows they’ve been posted.
You don’t need to hover over every message.
But a simple reminder can go a long way:
What happens at the sleepover should still respect people who are there โ and people who aren’t.
โค๏ธ 10. Be Mindful of Kids Who Weren’t Invited
This is one of those things children don’t always think about in the excitement of the night.
Imagine being at home, scrolling through social media, and seeing constant videos of your friend group at a party you weren’t invited to.
That can hurt.
Of course, children can enjoy their birthday and take photos.
But there’s a difference between capturing memories and deliberately broadcasting every moment of the party.
It’s a good opportunity to talk about kindness without taking away from anyone’s fun.
๐ 11. Consider a Wind-Down Time for Devices
Eventually, you probably want the sleepover to become at least vaguely connected to sleeping. ๐
Having a time when high-energy screen use finishes can help signal that the night is winding down.
You might move from:
๐ฎ Gaming
to
๐ฌ A movie
to
๐ฌ Quiet talking
to
๐ Lights out.
Phones can also become a problem once everyone is supposedly asleep.
Notifications.
Videos.
Bright screens.
Messages.
โJust one more thing.โ
Suddenly it’s 2:00 am and nobody has even attempted to sleep.
For older children and tweens, having an agreed overnight phone plan can be useful.
๐๏ธ 12. Keep Phones Away From Sleeping Faces
If phones are being charged overnight, create a sensible charging spot instead of burying devices under blankets or pillows.
It also reduces the temptation to keep checking them after everyone has supposedly gone to bed.
A bedside table, bench or another suitable location outside the actual bedding is a much better option.
๐ ฟ๏ธ 13. Do You Need a โPhone Parking Stationโ?
Maybe.
But don’t feel you need to create another Pinterest project labelled:
โจ PHONE HOTEL โจ
A bowl or basket on the kitchen bench can achieve exactly the same thing. ๐
For some groups, having somewhere everyone voluntarily leaves their phone during dinner, games or a movie works really well.
For others, it’s completely unnecessary.
Know your child and their friends.
๐ฒ 14. Have Easy Alternatives Ready
If you want kids to spend less time scrolling, it helps to have other things available.
Not an hour-by-hour entertainment schedule.
Just options.
Leave out:
๐ฒ Cards
๐ Games
๐จ A simple craft
๐ค Would You Rather questions
๐ Sleepover games
๐ค Karaoke
๐ธ Photo props
Slumber Wonderland also has free downloadable sleepover games that you can print beforehand and have ready if the kids need something to do.
But don’t panic if they ignore everything you’ve prepared and simply sit talking.
That’s not boredom.
That’s a sleepover.
๐ 15. Adults Need to Model It Too
This one can sting a little. ๐
It’s difficult to tell kids:
โEveryone put your phones away and enjoy being together!โ
…while we’re standing beside them scrolling through ours.
You don’t have to lock your own phone in another room.
You may need it for:
๐ Contacting parents
๐ธ Taking photos
๐ถ Music
โฐ Checking the time
But modelling being present sends a stronger message than another lecture about screen time.
๐ฌ Talk With Your Child, Not Just At Them
For older kids and tweens especially, involve them in deciding what the phone expectations will be.
Ask:
โWhat do you think is reasonable?โ
โDo you want phones during dinner?โ
โWhat should happen at bedtime?โ
โHow do we make sure nobody feels uncomfortable about photos?โ
You might be surprised by how sensible their suggestions are.
And they’re much more likely to respect expectations they helped create.
โ๏ธ Finding the Balance
A great sleepover doesn’t have to be completely screen-free.
And it doesn’t have to be completely screen-filled.
It might include:
๐ถ A playlist while everyone arrives
๐ฑ Phones away while eating pizza
๐ธ A photo challenge
๐ฎ Some gaming
๐ค Karaoke
๐ฒ A few screen-free games
๐ฌ A movie
๐ฌ Talking in bed
๐ Devices put aside for the night
That’s balance.
๐ The Friends Should Be the Main Event
Technology can add a lot to a sleepover.
It can provide the soundtrack.
Capture the photos.
Play the movie.
Run the game.
Start the karaoke.
But it shouldn’t become more interesting than the people sitting beside you.
Because years from now, your child probably won’t remember what they scrolled past that night.
They’ll remember:
Who was there.
What made everyone laugh.
The ridiculous game they invented.
The movie they watched.
The conversations after lights out.
And the feeling of having their favourite people sleeping beside them.
At Slumber Wonderland, we create beautifully styled sleepover spaces for families throughout Wollongong, the Illawarra and surrounding areas โ from individual indoor teepees and indoor Cabanas to backyard Bell Tents.
We create the space.
You add the food, music and activities.
Then let the kids put down the phones occasionally and create the memories themselves.
โจ Slumber Wonderland โ Where giggles, whispers and imagination come to play!